Want to ensure your startup never launches? Make these 3 mistakes.

Why would you want your startup to fail?

• Maybe you really love your 9-5 job.

• Maybe you have a crippling fear of failure.

• Maybe you just like to watch the world burn.

Doesn't matter — here's how! Do these 3 things, and I personally guarantee your startup will meet its tragic end as an epic dumpster fire. 🔥

Mistake 1: Fall in love with your idea.

Your idea is freaking awesome! It's epic, amazing, and game-changing. You really have no need to look beyond its initial conception. Don't listen to what anyone else tells you — especially customers! Your product is absolutely perfect just the way it is. Damn — your momma was right about you. You are special.

Mistake 2: Don’t launch until it’s perfect.

Your vision is divine; your insight perfect. To hell with an MVP! Just keep stuffing features into your gravity blanket of a product and get cozy. In fact, wait as long as possible and go as big as possible. Don a turtle neck, hop on stage, and launch like it's a TED talk. We're all waiting, and we’ll all be blown away.

Mistake 3: Be scalable from day one.

This is what the so-called experts just don't get: your time is too valuable to waste on silly things like customer testing. You already know your idea is a gift from the gods! Small bets are are for the weak, the feeble, and insecure. So go all-in right from the deal. In fact, don’t even look at your cards first.